The Best Destiny 2 Beyond Light Fan Theory I Have Ever Heard

Checking in on the Destiny Subreddit recently, I discovered one of the most hilarious posts I’ve come across in a very long time. It was made by Guardian Xittyy, and the best thing about it is that I can believe every single word of it.

Beyond Light Fan Theory

Calling this a Destiny 2 Beyond Light fan theory really is a stretch. It’s the theory of this Guardian’s 8-year-old brother, who recently go into Destiny 2. I’ll let the tale itself do the talking.

‘Hey, itty, I wonder if… if the new expansion was like… so you know the moon right?’ He said.

‘Yeah?’ I replied.

‘Well… what if we met the shadowkeeper person (?? lol) and they were evil-’

‘You mean Eris?’

‘Eris Morn?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh? Eris Morn? OH! She’s the main character of the season right? The pyramids?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Ok so basically Eris Morn secretly controls everything and the Hive and the Taken and the Pyramids. And then the pyramids fire a big laser at the tower and then the tower gets destroyed. Debras (he said it like this) everywhere, and then Lord Shaxx- wait. Lord Shaxx is the one at the end of the tower on the balcony thing right?’

‘No, that’s Zavala.’

‘Ok. So Eris Morn sees Lord Shaxx (immediately forgot that it was Zavala lol) unconscious, and then he wakes up. And Lord Shaxx talks to Eris Morn (he insisted on calling her ‘Eris Morn’ instead of just Eris for almost all of it lol) and says ‘I can’t believe you have betrayed us’ and Eris says ‘you fell for it’ and Shaxx tries to pick up his biggest sword but he is too weak.’

‘Oh.’

‘Then Eris Morn opens up a portal to the dream world and Lord Shaxx goes to the dream world and he gets blinded and falls off a cliff. Because the tower was really dark and the dream world is really light.’

(It turns out the dream world was the ascendant realm or smth)

‘And Lord Shaxx dies but Eris Morn revives him but Shaxx says ‘Well you’re done for now’ then every single guardian and warrior at the tower runs to Eris Morn and starts to shoot her but she still makes portals…using portals against everyone and the last Guardian alive is the player and they say ‘why did you do this Eris Morn? I trusted you’ then Eris Morn says ‘I don’t know’.’

‘Oh, ok.’

‘And then Eris Morn says ‘One of the guardians killed the person I love’.

‘Oh? That’s a bit dramatic.’

‘Yeah! BUT, anyway…’

‘lol ok (I did say lol out loud smh)’

‘And then you get a really overpowered…pistol. Hand cannon and you shoot her in the head and she dies.’

‘Oh my-’

‘But what actually happens is that you see all the ships and pyramids destroying the last city and all the warriors and guardians are in danger and then once you get to the city you find the secret room underground. No.’

‘No?’

‘No what actually happens is you find Eris Morn secret room and she has a room where she controls the pyramids and the guardian hijacks it and opens up a giant door inside it (??) and he didn’t tell anyone cause he had the best weapons (???) so he left the tower and went inside the pyramid – the main one – and inside the pyramid is a secret control room that detonates the atomic bomb they all have inside (cute) and he presses detonate but before he does that he hijacks the thing EVEN MORE and puts a forcefield over the last city and he blows them up and kills himself – or she. Kills herself. Him or herself. – and then you win the game.’

‘Oh, sounds cool. You should get a job at Bungie bahaha’

‘Bungie?’

‘The people who made Destiny.’

‘Yeah’

And then he runs off ahead. Kids are cute.

TL;DR my brother is pretty sure the next expansion involves Eris Morn controlling everything, killing Lord Shaxx (who is meant to be Zavala) in the ‘dream world’, having some sort of romance arc before dying to an overpowered pistol. Then the guardian blows up an atomic bomb in the pyramids and saves the day. The end 🙂

It took me a couple of read throughs to actually understand the story fully. Essentially Eris is an evil-dooer, and has been responsible for all the Darkness in the system. She randomly obliterates the Tower, and kills Zavala. The Guardian, your Guardian, then kills her with the ultimate Hand Cannon, opens up a secret door, and murders all the pyramids, saving the universe.

I would love to know more about Eris’ little love interest that pops up here, but I don’t think we’ll ever get more since this all seems a bit like a sugar-induced fever. I also love that Eris has these portal powers that she can throw out, like she’s a super villain.

Let us know what you think of this theory. Should Bungie hire this guy? If for nothing else, I would love to see a video version of this get made with crude drawings, it would be the best thing ever.

Image Source: Polygon