April Fools On r/DestinyTheGame
Over on the Destiny subreddit some Guardians are having a bit of a laugh, at least I hope they are. A post named leaked details of Update 1.1.5 has been posted with the following content, and it’s pretty funny, but borderline salty.
Obviously this is meant to be a jape at the most recent release, Update 1.1.4, which has in fact been received with largely positive results. Have a read of the below and see what you think.
In an effort to make Hunters, Titans and Warlocks more distinct, the following changes have been implemented:
- Hunters can now only equip Scout Rifles and Sniper Rifles.
- Hunters can no longer fire at an enemy unless it’s coming right for them.
- Following player feedback, Hunter armor can no longer roll with points in Mobility.
- As a balancing measure, the missing points will not be replaced.
- Cayde-6 will now sell other Hunters Treasure Maps that actually point towards useful loot.
- Titans can no longer equip weapons, and the Shoot button has been bound to Melee.
- Striker Titans are now really good at bowling, as intended.
- All shoulder pads on Titan armor are now 40% larger.
- Nobody who playtested these changes noticed the first one. Go figure.
- Warlocks now have to play using an Amazon Kindle.
- All warlocks using a Dawnblade subclass will now have their damage increased by 140%. Will you play the damn subclass already?!
- Seriously, Dave put a lot of work into it. The least you could do is try it.
- Warlocks Bonds will now accrue interest over time.
- In order to better solidify Warlocks as the Mobility focused class, their base movement speed has been increased by 10%.
- Exotic Repetition reduction
- Protections were put in place that prevent back-to-back duplicate Exotics from Exotic Engrams. For real this time, we promise.
- The Selfie emote will now actually post the selfie to your Insta. We hope you told everyone how much of a nerd you are.
- All Masterwork items will now always drop 1 Masterwork Core when dismantled. It wasn’t fair to make you think they could award more.
- Osiris will now curse at least once during the Curse of Osiris campaign, in order to justify the title of the DLC.
- The Antiope-D has officially been renamed Antelope-D, because Cozmo keeps correcting me and it’s getting annoying.
- A bug was discovered allowing Guardians to fully refill their Power Ammo using The Wardcliff Coil. We’re not gonna fix it, because honestly we needed Heavy Synths anyway and this is way less work.
- Grenade Launchers
- Reduced all damage by 20%. After their blast radius increase in 1.1.4, they were getting a bit too good.
- In an effort to make your 12th Better Devils mean something, Explosive Payload now has a chance to actually explode, destroying the weapon.
- Hip-Fire Grip now actually makes your Guardian grip their hip to fire.Resolved an issue where weapons with Kill Clip would not actually kill during the clip where Kill Clip was active.
Competitive (Includes Trials of the Nine)
- Screen is now turned off.
- Design Note: Following the Power Ammo changes in 1.1.4, we hope this change will result in a better chance for teams without Power Ammo to fight back.
This isn’t the biggest prank played by the Destiny community, since Bungie usually do something to mess with the Guardians at this time of year.
In 2013 after Destiny 1 had been officially revealed, Bungie released a fake Vidoc detailing a ‘missing’ character, Tiger Man. This character was an actor in face paint, but as part of the gag Bungie forced all forum avatars to be their custom Tiger Man image for 24 hours.
In 2014 Bungie announced the ‘Get Your Ass to Mars’ collector’s experience of Destiny. This experience cost $7,000,000, and would see fan transformed into an Exo or Awoken and shipped to Mars in order to wait for Destiny’s release. This is by far the most outlandish April Fools joke Bungie has played on the Destiny community, which is why I think this post about Update 1.1.5 is probably from a fan.
Let us know what you think in the comments.
Image Source: GameZone